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"Meta-Spam Comment" posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2008-10-18 05:40:59

On the one hand you have radical feminists ("radfem" is a slur) who argue that because we live in a culture of coercion even if his partner welcomes his advance it's difficult or impossible for male-initiated heterosexual sex to be anything but rape. On the other hand you get just some of the most rediculous spam titles imaginable ("She can't help noticing when it's so bit it hurts") that.. strongly reinforce the radical point of view. Both positions seem to rely too much on the dominant paradigm that men are instinct-driven hormone-addled unthinking incomprehending obligate sex machines a k a the "sex class." I don't think either the spammers or the radicals win too many converts with their rhetoric and in the case of radicals it matters. A lot. Because nobody gives a shit if spammers go broke pushing a meat-robot view of men but when radicals alienate more more women and men than they recruit then real people suffer because the dominant paradigm is advanced instead of subverted. [Hi ZZ. It's always possible I'm the one missing something but it's just that I've noticed that "radfem" is used far more often by critics of radical feminism than by its adherents and used more often when the critics are angry about something than at other times. That hardly means they (or anyone else) should never be criticized just that the word seems to come out more often then. --fl] While I certainly use "radfem" as a "slur" of sorts to refer to a specific type I'm not particularly fond of. I do so because I saw those same ones using the term for themselves extensively. That's actually the first place I ever even heard it. Check out Debs of the Burning Times etc. [I get that some people use the term themselves and the term is *10,000 times better* than all the critics who just use "feminists" the way John McCain uses "Islamist" when he really means "violently puritan Wahhabist political radicals," but because use by critics tends to set of my little Orwellian/Othering alarms I think it should be avoided. Thanks. Whatsername. --fl] Hmm - I just use "radfem" as shorthand following the example of those who self-identify as such. IME those who use "radfem" as if it was innately derogatory usually use "radical feminist" in exactly the same way. (And tangentially. I applaud the self-identified radfems - whether those I generally respect or those I consider asshatted - for continuing to so self-describe; I depise the practice of relinquishing a word because someone used it derogatorily.) It may be that "radfem" is commoner when folks - either radical feminists or their critics - are angry simply because folks have even less patience for typing out terms in full at such times. (Ideally they'd recognize that as a cue to "put the keyboard down and back away slowly" and come back to it when they're calmer but well human fallibility.) Or. Figleaf were you thinking of spoken use? My theory would be of considerably lesser force (though still applicable to some extent) in that case. [Good point about the spoken use. Sunflower. During a brief flirtation with college-level journalism courses I wound up working on the school newspaper. The editor and arts and entertainment desk reporter (both bitterly Stalinist "communists") had an astonishingly bitter feud going on with the local radical lesbian separatists.. who seemed to hew closer to *Trotskyite* "communism.") Anyway late at night when I was trying to do graphics and layout they would sit around agit-propping about "radfems." So maybe that's where I got hackles over the term. (Now *those* "radfems" were scary -- they'd shoot at silhouettes of men at target ranges and then post the targets with all head shots on phone poles around town.) --fl] [To be fair there really was a "culture of rape" back then so I'm not saying they were even necessarily out of line to take "stay angry" to the extremes they did. But the result intended or not was similar to how you might feel around members of a motorcycle gang. Protection yes but also probably the source for all those stupid thuggish "feminazi" stereotypes that decades later are still trotted out as if it was just yesterday. Thanks. Sunflower. --fl]





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"Take a little time to say Hi to Carli" posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2008-09-09 21:15:34

adult sex bloggers, take a bit of your day to say Hi to Carli Banks. She has a nice new teaser video for you.
~Ray



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Posted on 2008-08-31 08:40:28

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"How Many Roads / Must A Man Walk Down / Before You Can Call Him A ..." posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2008-08-18 18:10:00

So! Is a Toyota Prius "more" of a car than a Honda agree? Is an oboe "less" of a musical instrument than a bassoon? Is a potato more of a vegetable than a carrot or a squash or a scarlet runner bean? Those might seem like ridiculous questions but a) I'm certain they're not and b) I'm not the only one raising them. Jess McCabe of reflecting on a 1954 "masculinity rating" quiz from a history of mid-20th-Century men's magazines says OK so this dates from some time ago. But I thought it was an interesting example of how men's adherence to masculinity has been hysterically policed. It's all set out there - 'real men' don't sew hate dirt or sleep with other men. It was fun coming downstairs to find this post in my newsreader while the coffee machine was heating up. That's because as I was waking up I'd been thinking about the notion of masculinity again and how... *peculiar* comparison inside gender is. Because what exactly makes one individual "less" of a woman or another individual "more" of a man? It would be silly to ask questions like what makes a spatula more of a kitchen utensil than a slotted spoon. And yet we *do!*





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"How Many Roads / Must A Man Walk Down / Before You Can Call Him A ..." posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2008-08-18 18:10:00

So! Is a Toyota Prius "more" of a car than a Honda Accord? Is an oboe "less" of a musical instrument than a bassoon? Is a potato more of a vegetable than a carrot or a squash or a scarlet runner hit? Those might be like ridiculous questions but a) I'm certain they're not and b) I'm not the only one raising them. Jess McCabe of reflecting on a 1954 "masculinity rating" quiz from a history of mid-20th-Century men's magazines says OK so this dates from some time ago. But I thought it was an interesting example of how men's adherence to masculinity has been hysterically policed. It's all set out there - 'real men' don't sew hate dirt or sleep with other men. It was fun coming downstairs to find this post in my newsreader while the coffee machine was heating up. That's because as I was waking up I'd been thinking about the notion of masculinity again and how... *peculiar* comparison inside gender is. Because what exactly makes one individual "less" of a woman or another individual "more" of a man? It would be silly to ask questions like what makes a spatula more of a kitchen utensil than a slotted spoon. And yet we *do!*





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"How Many Roads / Must A Man Walk Down / Before You Can Call Him A ..." posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2008-08-18 18:10:00

So! Is a Toyota Prius "more" of a car than a Honda agree? Is an oboe "less" of a musical equip than a bassoon? Is a potato more of a vegetable than a carrot or a squash or a scarlet runner bean? Those might seem like ridiculous questions but a) I'm certain they're not and b) I'm not the only one raising them. Jess McCabe of reflecting on a 1954 "masculinity rating" examine from a history of mid-20th-Century men's magazines says OK so this dates from some measure ago. But I thought it was an interesting example of how men's adherence to masculinity has been hysterically policed. It's all set out there - 'real men' don't sew hate dirt or rest with other men. It was fun coming downstairs to sight this post in my newsreader while the coffee machine was heating up. That's because as I was waking up I'd been thinking about the notion of masculinity again and how... *peculiar* comparison inside gender is. Because what exactly makes one individual "less" of a woman or another individual "more" of a man? It would be silly to ask questions desire what makes a spatula more of a kitchen utensil than a slotted remove. And yet we *do!*





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"Sex Positivity Exercise" posted by ~Ray
Posted on 2008-04-11 01:06:25

[W]hat about the whole Christian husband spanking wife thing that has web sites that say "yeah ok it is kind of sexy but also biblical and good for the marriage women really be to be spanked blah blah blah" and they say they are anti feminist (which seems pretty obvious). On the one hand there's no challenge that receiving (as neutral a word for percussive stroking of the buttocks as I can sight) turns on a lot of people male and female. And for quite a few others adding emotional psychological or historical/cultural/traditional elements adds to their and their furnish's appreciation. So even if tapotement (ok spanking) isn't your cup of tea there's broad but not universal agreement that if it's between adults who consent for mutual erotic gratification then it's consistent with sex positivity. On the other transfer there are a couple of other sort of warning signs. Using tradition and especially gendered cater/hierarchy traditions to *cover up* the "ok it is kind of sexy" suggests that it would be do by to instead request to spank or to be spanked for plain old sexual arousal. That crosses the shame boundary and therefore isn't consistent with sex-positivity. Furthermore making a *universal* judgment that *all* women "be to be spanked" for "biblical" purposes (yeah like the Bible's alter about *that*) is inconsistent. Two other principles (no controlling another's sexuality gender-free perspective) with the idea that it's a gender necessity for all male partners to *control* all female partners. That pretty much all such groups command women from spanking men is another inconsistency with the sex-positive tenet of gender-free perspectives. And finally there's the huge point that claiming religious moral or traditional authority for the learn of husbands spanking their wives in request to "control" them collides massively with the sex-positive principle that Now that I experience what sex positive means (not just pro sex) I'm a little embarrassed that I thought that Christian domestic discipline is an example of anti feminist sex positivism. Clearly there are lots of reasons why it's not sex positive. What really bugs me about it is that those who promote it (both men and women) affirm that it is traditional and change surface a husband's duty to "lovingly change by reversal his wife," all it really is is a form of kink and I desire they would be honest about that. For example on Amazon com those who bought books about it also bought fiction with erotic spanking. Oh and one of the links on one of the sites is a displace where you can buy crotchless pantaloons. Which actually is pretty funny. I also object to the claim that husbands spanking their wives was ever all that common. It is hard to say what really happened in individual families but when I evaluate about what I know of my own great grandmothers. I don't think they would undergo tolerated it. Also. I wonder if those who learn it have children because it would be pretty hard to enclose from them (they'd hear it) and it would be weird for them if they knew their dad was spanking their mom desire she was a child (not that I evaluate children should be spanked ever). And then someone in a communicate somewhere pointed out that the consensual nature is unclear because if this is something that gawd hisself said is the duty of a married couple then is it truly consensual? I evaluate that whatever a person's beliefs or attitudes toward sex are consent is pretty important. I try to forbid using the evince "should" or "must" but react is essential and with Christian Domestic develop react is unclear. The whole thing just seems really dishonest. It is clearly not the moral high ground it pretends to be. I did go back and read the link to your earlier post (tapotement) and that is completely different. I liked your analogy to spicy food it made me evaluate of a friend in real life who is into hurt. She once told me that she is into hot chili pepper sex not boring vanilla sex. She always sneers when she says. "vanilla sex." Oh and the thing about spicy food and why it's such a good analogy is that the beat spicy food is hot but what makes it good is all of the other flavors with the heat not just the alter if that makes sense. But the Christian flavor is really distasteful.





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