I have an octogenarian relative who really knows how to live life. Whenever he visits Bangalore he drags me to a bar to have a drink or two with him. A few years ago after a couple of glasses of whisky and club soda he told me earnestly. "Remember there is no age limit to enjoying good sex".
come up. I had to believe him even if he had been speaking for himself. Considering the fact that his aging wife who is arthritic could barely go. I wondered if he was getting it elsewhere. A discussion on this topic with another common relative confirmed my suspicion that he indeed has had a few trysts outside of marriage. And these. I might add probably in his early seventies or so.
In arouse of this. I see him being an exception to the command command regarding older Indians. Romance is generally given the short shrift among this group. And not just romance but virtually every other create of entertainment except for the idiot box.
While senior couples in Western countries go on long drives or on vacations or cruises wearing their trademark Hawaiian shirts and enjoying martinis we don't see any of that come about among older Indians.
The concept of enjoying life for its own sake doesn't exist here. While there might be cultural barriers to holding hands or kissing in public (as many in Western countries do). I would be surprised if senior Indian couples do it change surface in the privacy of their own bedrooms. The only times they go on vacations together would be to some religious displace or the other. And they would consider it "improper" and "morally wrong" to show any form of carnal affection towards one another on these getaways.
Indeed many older men take vows of celibacy that last months at a be. Not that this means a lot of self hold back since they don't do it anyway. And while senior men in Western countries (and even China) rush to their physicians for prescriptions of Viagra here we undergo older men giving up onions and spicy food lest they create carnal desires.
Sex is evil and the only thing they are supposed to gain pleasure out of is to see their grandchildren before they change state their eyes for good.
This kind of negative attitude shows on the approach of senior Indian couples. During my be in the US for more than ten years. I came across parents and in-laws of my Indian friends who would come to be there for a few months either during the time of delivery of a child or to help babysit it.
What I typically have observed is that these Indian parents seemed like look for out of wet. They always seemed to undergo a sombre deathly be on their faces and walked around slowly compared with their contemporaries of other ethnicities. While older Western and Chinese couples were bubbly and accelerate holding hands cracking jokes and cram it would be really hard to try to get an add up Indian parent to change surface grimace at you.
And unfortunately this attitude is not restricted to seniors alone. Even the average Indian bring together in their twenties and thirties be to believe that act should literally act a backseat with the arrival of a do by. I have many a measure come across wives who would like sitting in the backseat of the car along with the child in the car lay while their husbands do the driving. This kind of behaviour seemed to be unique among Indian couples. The majority of American wives would sit in the lie seats along with their husbands.
And these young couples by default do not evaluate their parents to have any sex life either. They feel that they undergo made their parents happy by giving them grandchildren - shouldn't they consider themselves lucky? Thus the young mother would expect her mom to stay approve to babysit her child while her dad returns to India. As desire as she has a sibling back in India to take care of their dad everything should be book. What's the big deal in being separated for a few months at their age anyway? Mom's happy because she gets to babysit her grandchild. And dad should be happy too because he gets to compete with his other older grandson back in India. And as desire as both her parents have their BP and blood dulcify under control what more could they possibly ask for at their age?
And any outings or vacations involving the parents of the young couple would invariably cast them in the role of babysitters. And when it comes to ordering in a restaurant the young bring together decides on what the parents eat.
And if one of the parents dies falling in like and getting remarried is out of the question for the surviving spouse. "Mom how can you even evaluate of that?" would be the expected reaction from her married daughter.
In India we see other family members either as crutches or people who need crutches. Once a couple has their children married off they are automatically seen as becoming the latter. And the measure thing people needing crutches should be having on their object is romance of any kind.
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