I know that this doesn't have much to do with the aim of 50 Million Missing but I've always been horrified by the dangers facing Indian girls and have wanted to adopt a girl from India for some time. I researched the matter on adoption websites and read that Indian adoption agencies only let children be adopted by parents of their same religion. Is this true? And since corruption seems to be rife in many bureaucratic arenas in India is it even feasible to adopt from there? I fear that in a place where cops protect brothels with underage girls doctors won't treat a dowry victim and midwives kill female babies the adoption system must also be pretty corrupt. Just hoping I can one day help at least one of these girls.-Lauren I am no expert in Adoption. A google search turns out that you might want to start with1) 2) I know two of my close friends who have adopted. Their experience has been good. They went through authorized/recognized child adoption agencies. About religion this is what is there at What Law is applicable to Adoptions ?In-country adoptions can be made by Hindus under the Hindu Adoption and Maintenance Act (19..)Non- Hindus are not permitted by their religions to adopt and may take a child as a Ward under the Guardians…. Act (19..). NRIs may also adopt under these Provisions. A foreigner adopting from India is given the child under the Guardian and Wards Act and is expected within a period of 2 years to legally formalise the adoption as per the Laws of the country of his/ her residence. Hi Lauren cprogrammer is right. Authentic information on Indian adoption is available at. This is a govermental agency and a very efficient one at that. In fact there is a link for Myths & Realities even. In India the adoption procedures are still governed by HAMA which stipulates that only Hindus can adopt and citizens of other religions can only be a guardian to the ward which they choose to adopt. This however is about legislation under Indian Civil Law. There could be exceptions within this framework also which a lawyer can help you on. Efforts are on to repeal this act and have a common civil adoption act and if I am right there are already couple of instances where the highest court of the country has allowed adoptions which doesnt fall under the conditions stipulated. I would want to differ with you on the generalised opinion about corruption in India. It is no less or no more than any other place in the world the only difference being that you pay bribes for getting a normal job done in India and in other countries to break the rules. However the Indian laws are stringent on adoptions for a good cause. The inter country adoptions have been made tougher to prevent child trafficking particularly in the case of girl children. The procedure includes homestudy onwards and sometimes one may feel that getting a US visa would have lesser tests. But when it comes to giving a baby in adoption no amount of checking can be adequate. There are plenty of babies awaiting adoption and if a prospective parent can prove their good intent it is only a question of putting up with bureaucratic delays. I am writing this out of experience as I am an adoptive parent and I would be more than willing to help you if you are keen in adopting a child from India. While numbers are favoring speedy disposal of adoption cases the nation's intent to safeguard its citizens whoever they are can only be applauded. Please do write to me at t shrikanth@gmail com and I would be glad to assist you. It is no less or no more than any other place in the world--------------------------------------------------I think it is in the bottom part frankly because 1)often there is no recourse against it if you are one of the hundred million powerless indians. 2)and it is considered normal behaviour but the type of normalcy that mainly profits a powerful minority. 3) India warts and all is still a democracy but can't quite get to grips with scourges that keep stymiyng its development (again of the sorts that would benefit all indians). Some corrupted to the core countries are ruled by dictators and tyrants but India does not have this excuse. On the subject of adoption it is wonderful to save a child's life but yes it is independant of the 50M question as it will not solve anything inside the country itself and on the contrary can encourage all kinds of criminal behaviour and political set-ups preying on good samaritanship from the "1st world". Hi guys -- Calcutta is again reeling under effect of a political bandh (everything has been forced shut) and I am also without phone and internet (so I'm grabbing a few minutes at somebody else's computer)!I think @rosewithoutathorn84 is right that the adoption process can be cumbersome and very beauracratic in India -- but it all depends on the agency that you choose to work through. So it is very important I think that you have spoken to people who have adopted through a particular agency before you choose to hire it to help with the adoption. More so. India's laws on adoption were set up under British rule and like much else -- the courts haven't yet made the effort to re-examine and change these laws. It is true that IF YOU are Indian and not Hindu the laws in India don't permit you to adopt (you can be a legal guardian). It is totally absurd. I've known of families -- who are parsees chritians etc who have agonized over the vulnerbility of their adopted child in terms of inherticance laws etc. However if you are adopting from abroad -- then the child is legally adopted according to the laws of your particular country. And yes Lauren -- adoption is very much a part of the '50 million missing' thinking -- particularly if you are planning on adopting a girl child from India. More than 90% of children in orphanages are girls -- and in all likelihood most of them are not orphans -- simply girls who were unwanted by there families. The government may put up a big show about wanting to protect their children from international child trafficking etc. -- but I really wish they'd show their concern more by improving the condition of their own children. Most the orphanages are crowded filthy and pathetic. Recent studies have revealed that many of these children have been subject to sexual and physical abuse. Even outside the orphanages -- the statistics are appalling. 1/4 of India's children are malnourished. 50% are illiterate! I wish we'd show our patriotism more by either catering to our children the right way or by at least cutting back on beauracracy and corruption -- so we can allow for people where ever they live -- who want to adopt and care for children -- to be able to do so without facing harassment. Here's a 2007 report on Indian children conducted by the government of India along with UNICEF. Here is some of what it reports:Over 50% of children have experienced physical abuse which includes slapping and corporal punishment. 88.6% of these children face physical abuse from their parents; 45.68% of them are boys. Nearly 65% of schoolchildren reported being beaten by their teachers mostly in government schools. A shocking 53.22% of children have faced sexual abuse. The report says that most children do not report the matter to anyone. Half of the cases of sexual abuse (50%) were committed by people known to the child or in a position of trust and responsibility. Every second child reported emotional abuse in an equal number of girls and boys. While 41.17% of children in the 5-12 age-group complained of being forcibly kissed the figure came down to 25.73% in the 13-14 age-group. Similarly around 25.86% of teenagers reported being forced to exhibit their private parts; the relevant figure for those below 12 was 35.86%. Around 37.25% of children in the younger age-group and 27.61% of teenagers were sexually abused during travel. As much as 41.33% of children in the 5-12 age-group and 25.29% in the 13-14 age-group reported abuse during marriages and other family ceremonies. What’s worse the report says. “around 70% of abused children have never reported the matter to anyone”. While Assam (86.26%) topped the list of states where children faced sexual abuse. Andhra Pradesh and Delhi followed closely at 72.83% and 72.26% respectively. Rajasthan reported the lowest complaints -- 29.36%. Likewise the percentage of sexually abused young adults (13-14 age-group) is high in Assam at 77.5% followed by Delhi at 69.11%. Goa reported the least complaints -- 23.01%. Kerala had the lowest incidence of child abuse. "I thought it odd that children 13-14 are listed as "young adults". But that I think is to accomadate India's peculiar laws on child marriage. Child marriage is illegal in India. However if a child is married the law cannot declare it as null and void. Nor can anyone bring charges against the parents the relatives who organized it or the priests who conducted the ceremony!!!!!!!!! I would want to differ with you on the generalised opinion about corruption in India. It is no less or no more than any other place in the world the only difference being that you pay bribes for getting a normal job done in India and in other countries to break the rules. ----Not to change the very worthy subject but the Transparency Intl. Corruption Index would differ with the above opinion: India was ranked #74 of this past year right between Ghana and Mexico. (2006) Finland was #1 as least corrupt; Iraq. Myanmar and Haiti were the rock bottom. According to this at least. India is right in the middle. The report also notes that India has improved its standing since 2005 (as has the USA among others). adoption is very much a part of the '50 million missing' thinking -----------------------------------------------------------------here I am at a loss. Rita. Maybe you have the data that shows that adopting children improves the life of other girsl andwomen (those that stayed behind) and their expectancy to a decent life but frankly I doubt it. I am not against adoption of course but I would like to see how this would fit in your frame of mind that is so much about changing the condition of women in India and the culture that keeps victimizing them. IMO. 2 different things especially since we are talking of 50 million women missing which is more than the enitre population in many countries. Adoption if done "agressively" as policy or massively encouraged provokes many problems, by which I mean people making it not just an individual response to already set up bona fide agencies but outside of normal experienced channels. As has been shown lately in Tchad and before in Cambodia instances of wrong-headed misinformed or trumped NGOs become a political pawn and can end up in fiasco bad for everyone the prospective parents the NGO workers and too often the chidren. I don't see how we (or Rita) can undertake such daunting social work which has nothing to do with "thinking" but all with covering the steps and history of a child from the day she was born to the day she flies out and after. This is clearly unrelated to stopping femicide in India. Again not against adoption per se. Just pointing the organizational complexities going into such work that makes advocating it as 50M policy fraught with potential headaches and political backlash. strategy? I doubt it. India will never politically go on the block with thousands of chidlren up for adoption. I think the resentment against "west knows better" is one of the most virulent in India. IMO it could take huger proportions than happened in Tchad with "children rescue" with the first real or perceived impropriety being used as an excuse to make trouble. Within this frame of mind is also the idea that India cannot cope with its problems which is another reason they won't allow anything like a major rescue (which the word "strategy" implies). Last it is totally unfeasable in large numbers just the administrative complications and inanities (like english only) encountered about Roopa's case give an idea we are talking individual case one by one. Very far from strategy. To me by adopting you are not changing one tiny little thing how indian women and girls are treated and perceived. Adoption strategy is best left to adoption agencies not to the 50M one again i wish to insist in being clear: adopting a child to save her life yes. 50M being instrumental in making adoption a collective undertaking as part of its strategy no. You may actually speak of indians adopting some of these children. I may be a bit ethno-centric here. Still. I have to ask. Is adoption something you have in your culture that it could provide a solution within the numbers we talk about? I know in Thailand because of karma belonging to one person adoption is a bit frowned upon. Superstitious crap no doubt but India can teach Thailand a lesson about that! :-)How about dowry of adopted girl? What Rita told us of the affluent classes even living in the west as concerns their preferences for women (not really into it) bodes badly for India being a substantial recipient of adoptions. Even clarifying and repeating,you guys keep misunderstanding me. I am for adoption anytime anywhere undertaken by adoption agencies set up for that purpose with the full process of adoption totally monitored. OK? The 50M group will never be equipped to do that and to say it is part of the strategy no sorry no more than adoption is part of the stratey to stop genocide in Darfur. Events in just about every continent has shown that adoption "en masse" has led to much backlash against it from locals and there are now very well documented cases that demand creates supply leading to criminal activbities surrounding the providing of children with middle men and other unsavory characters of which the adopting family from the west has often very little idea. Please keep the debate to: adoption CLEARLY LINKED to ending the 50M scourge. It is not about adoption per se. Now if you or Dilip maybe Rita others were to adopt a child. I'd be so delighted to hear it. Thanks. And yes. Herve -- I hope to adopt (someday when I have a more stable lifestyle and home to provide for a child) A girl for sure. In fact all my life -- I have never found any logical reasoning to having biological offspring -- when there is a child who wants a home as much as you want a child. But unfortunately the Indian approach to adoption is like that of the Thai too. The idea of caste and blood lines is deeply ingrained in the mindset. I know of wealthy families who have spent big money on first trying every conceivable method in India and abroad to conceive -- and then finally resorting to adopting a relatives child (within the blood lines you see). It always causes complications later -- when the child's family demands a hand in the child's inheritance -- but we don't learn our lessons. So thousands of children (mostly girls) languish in the orphanages. Ultimately every child has a right to a decent life and a loving family -- and it really doesn't matter in which country or race or community she get's it. I would rather these girls have homes and care outside India than languish in prison like conditions in India (if no one is adopting them here). India has in fact a system in place where a child has to be put up for adoption and rejected by at least 3 indian families before she can even be considered for adoption outside. For Some of the orphanages (I'm not naming anyone here) that are connected to mission work often use these girls as a part of their own production system. Can you imagine these girls being raised in a prison like system with no other skills or options not even a knowledge of how the rest of the world lives and their only choice in life is to become nuns and do missionary work????? Two years ago an orphan girl from a very famous orphanage in Calcutta was sent to work as a maid in a friend's neighborhood. There the man of the house raped her. She got pregnant. Thereupon the orphanage decided she must have tempted the man -- and threw her out. Can you imagine she has no possessions knew nobody had no skills no family. I never found out what happened to her!

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Some Indian women are turning to a new way of making money -- carrying children for others as surrogate mothers. Send mail to webmaster (at) innovationwatch com with questions or comments about this site. Copyright 2001-2008. Innovation Watch is a registered trademark.

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Roopa is an 18 year old girl who who is one of India's thousands of dowry victims. She was subject to extreme torture and finally forced to drink acid by her in-laws after her parents refused to pay dowry. Thousands of women and young girls in India are subject to similar violence by their in-laws in dowry related cases. It estimated that about 25000 women are murdered in a similar violent manner every year. Many are set on blast in staged kitchen accidents some are hanged and some are poisoned. Roopa's was the first inspect that the 50 Million Missing group has been involved with. You can follow the story at this cerebrate: . When we met her in September she was in a very bad way and in need of urgent surgery and medical treatment. So we had put out a request for donations from members of the group and whoever wanted to help Roopa. We thank Roopa's friends for feeling for her and giving so generously. As of the last week of October. 2007 we have collected about $1000.00 in donations. We think we have what we be for Roopa for the time-being and so we are -- (for now) closing the donation box. We are expecting that 60% of the $1000.00 we have collected so far will go towards covering the bills of the operation the hospitalization the medicines tests and transportation. The other $400.00 will be used for Roopa's continued treatment and medication as an outpatient for the next 6 months at least. We also hope to get her some help with therapy and when she's able to reintroduce her to text books and some basic home schooling -- so to prepare her to find her footing in the world again. Roopa was hospitalized for most of October; She had her surgery on October 15 and following a slightly tense week when she was in urgent need of blood and albumin transfusions she began to stabilize on October 21. One October 22 she was fed orally for the first time in 5 months since the incident happened. Roopa is now back in her parents' house -- and she will continue to acquire treatment as an outpatient till she is fully recovered. We'll keep you updated. Thanks for caring. Should anyone be visiting Calcutta -- gratify do contact us -- if you'd like to meet Roopa and her family. Originally posted at 10:01PM. 28 October 2007 PST( ) Lars-Gunnar Svärd (a group admin) edited this topic 2 months ago. Yesterday afternoon (November 03). Thomas who is a member of the 50 Million Missing group and is currently working in Calcutta came with me to visit Roopa and her family. Thomas is a much better.

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But I got big shock when I was in chennai after marriage. She always cry and contend for the silly reasons and we didn’t have the physical relationâ€&change;s even I adjusted her due to new displace and new people for her. Getting a visa is not easy but I tried to carry my wife she was with me in Dubai for six months. I have given full freedom. She was always fight with me for the old family rivals and insulted me and my family using very bad words. She keeps on beat me and through some items on me what ever she gets in her hand (mobile and etc) even hurt my body using her touch nails. She himself hurt using some sharp items. She was so laze not able to alter good food. Middle of the night she change state up and cry ,stand near window for two to three hours ,tear all papers look like eat of house ,She resists not having baby child (Reason say the do by will change like her with mental problems). She demand always wants the divorce. And contend with me process midnights not accept me to sleep change surface I undergo morning shifts. I go to know she has love affairs with one calm man collage met for a year ,even I donâ€&change;t mind her past life. We did not had big fight but she tried suicide attempt I go to experience she has the depression problem since from birth. (her family every one has some depression problems Elder sisters her Dad) they hide before marrige. She always fight with me very arrogant not able to hold back. On my vacation I admit her in Apollo hospital for the treatment. adulterate said she has personality disturb boarder lie & Conversion disturb; I pay thirty thousand for the treatment at least get her approve as normal girl. I displace her in India for the treatment she agreed also. Now she went her domiciliate not cooperate for the treatments now fight with all family members. Went womenâ€&change;s guard displace with help of her parents complain false information’s about us. Police discussed both families finally decided that hand over her belongs (jewels) we hand over all. She will change by reversal her faults and stay together. As of now there is no verbal communicate for past six months. See how much she loves me. Bride’s parents planned to put my parents in jail. We are respected lay class family now suffer lot due to wife parents threatening. I undergo gone through web sites regarding Indian laws. I come to know laws favorable to brideâ€&change;s side. I was so screwed up after my marriage. They experience about her mental condition and played with my life and enclose girl’s problem and put my life in big affect. Defiantly god will punish her families for the cruel behavior. Doctor advised that she cannot dress her character. I should adjust her and take care as baby and check all times how could it possible if I gone for duty she act suicide. Dubai law much different from Indian laws. I has to be in jail for life long because of her mental problems. And her parents say that blindly I murder her.

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label: Partha Kar RoyComments: Final hearing made and request passed as not guilty in 2006. 498A filed by my wife as a blackmail to get approve my son during custody battle. The CPM controlled express govermenment was influenced by my wife and the topmost level participated. The women's equip was used. NGO's made every effort to end us. On the day the final bail was granted a road accident was staged on our vehicle with the help of a lorry and I suffered serious continue injury. My aged mother almost died from 11 broken bones of rib confine. Hooligans were used on an attempt to kill us. The Police tried to end us off by making false be as the CPM Politbureau members are involved. These influential persons have also hired journalists from reputed Newspapers to write against us so that when we are killed the public opinion remains against us and no one should be bothered when some criminals gets shot. We had to get the state as our life was at risk. We filed our inspect against the WB Human rights commission but nothing happened. It appears that the WBHRC is just a cruise of the CPM party. change surface after receiving free we could not live in our residence as the WB guard never bothered to consider the free that was granted to us by the court. There is total lawlessness in bengal as the Chief public prosecutor who is my wife's friend openly threatened to kill us inside the act premises many a times. So far we undergo lived by paying blackmail money to every such person. The situation has improved after the custody contend was decided in our favour. In 2003 my wife also chose to go and go away living with us. We were so scared that we did not protest. In April 2007 she left and we do not know if they have started to plan for another killing. Now gratify express us how do we continue to live here? I would also like to know the legal affect so that such persons are prosecuted and adequate punishment for telling blatent lies. We could undergo been easily killed. We suffered needlessly. We are financially ruined. My parents are aged around 78 (F) and 70 (M) and brother 39 and he is mentally challenged. Don't they undergo any alter to peace? gratify help. We are really innocent and we have lost faith in the process of our law and the constitution. Now that it is known that the section is misused repeatedly why can't our government adjoin such laws? If due to the use of such silly laws populate get cause to be perceived is it not the duty of the government to adequately balance such innocent populate?

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Name: Siddesh Comments: False case booked against me & my father,taking undue advantage of 498 A ipc sec,besides 506 ips sec. The police undergo mingled in the inspect and supporting her. The rush pelt not yet submited to the act. In the FIR the complaint which she written is entirely false. In FIR copy the police stated that they undergo arrested me & my create from my residance,but my father is staying separtely at his own house which is 5kms away from my residance & city,but actualy i was in the office on that particular day on working the police constable on that day came to my office at about 6.30 pm and said that CPI has called me to the police station. Accordingly i went with him to the police station,where i saw my wife & her father besides her relatives. The disussion with me & CPI had gone for a while,the CPI was using abbusing & walreger language to me without explianig any thinking to me,than i said to CPI that i undergo applied for Divorce in the morning before the court,than suddenly CPI became furious and dircted my wife to lodge the complaint against me by taking the advantages of provisions of 498A IPC & cover 506 etc. Than i had been taken to the custody at the guard sation,at around the 7.30 pm my create came to the guard sation to know the facts,he has also been taken to the mahali police sation since by the time the CPI was not in police station. The police forced me & create to write the FIR copy without allowing us to read. The CPI in the FIR inform stated he has arrested me & my father from my residance between 8.15pm & 9.00pm,where my father was not atall though we both were at Mahali police station since from 6.30 pm respectively. Than me & my father had been produced before the Judge at his residance at about 9.45 pm. Than we both undergo been taken to the judical custody. And we both were in custody for 9 days. Later Relised on free. Let us advice me in this regard.

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@Virion -- Actually I've had quite a few close friends from the U. S who've been more affect to groping than Indian women. The men might sit uncomfortably change state to them or put their hands around their shoulders -- because they assume that foreigners ordain act that since they see it as 'normal' behavior in the West!! It is so startling sometimes and foreigners are often afraid of appearing rude -- so they are often at a loss at to how to respond. I tell my friends -- it doesn't matter which country you are in -- if somebody's behavior makes you uncomfortable -- you have to express them off -- politely first "excuse me -- but please do not touch me. I don't desire it." and if that does not work then -- shout scream emit kick --whatever it takes. I evaluate we need to send this communicate to Indian women too! These perverts act favor of the fact that women get embarrassed and sometimes scared. If you show them who's impress -- it often works. My sister and I once chased this fellow in a beat market displace in Chennai -- he had just pinched her bottom -- and we beat the egest out of him using the tools we had handy -- our umbrellas :))) @virion: How do you know this - are you foreign? or have you taken an indepth analyse of foreigners living in India? In fact. I'm pretty sure in some cases it's the opposite - foreign women are hassled more because as Rita says somehow men have gotten the idea this is the western way. (Believe me it's not.) And I am not even blonde - my blonde friends can really tell horror stories (being chased on a motorcycle after dark through Auroville for instance and that's in the "respectful" south; or having "I be to f--- you" screamed at them from across the street). You might be to construe one of my first transfer (so to communicate haha) accounts of being groped on my blogsite. The Raj Era is long over; it's not as though little old me riding up on my bicycle puts the fear of the Queen into these guys. The police had to be browbeaten into even filing a inform. For the first ten minutes of my visit to the police they pretended not to communicate English. A foreign woman doesn't undergo family in the area doesn't usually speak the local language and the police conclude no paternalistic protective impulse toward her as they would to an Indian girl. Besides she is just passing through and there are no repercussions to ignoring her inspect. I entangle a bit like Kinginexile - in a way my background prepared me to "argue myself" more than the add up "traditional" Indian girl so it perhaps wasn't as traumatic for me as for Kutiiselvi from West Mambalam on her first big trip into the city. I'm not trying to have a contest here. Sisterhood is powerful. And all this harassment sucks! For all of us! Self-defense for women should be mandatory in schools. All this cram toward foreign or Indian women is a create of social control. "You belong at home with your father" or husband is the communicate to all of us regardless of nationality. Indian women are getting it more now that they are more mobile working later moving independently more often and so on --(things foreign women undergo usually done all along without thinking). This is one topic that certainly gets discussed here all the times - in Delhi. I convey. I have lived in Kolkata in Mumbai and in Delhi now. I am a working woman independent since a long measure and have lived alone in both Kolkata and Mumbai. Its only living in Delhi/Gurgaon and now Indirapuram(Del UP adjoin) that has made me suffer most of my confidence. I never am out alone beyond a certain measure dont undergo my hangouts with my women friends unless the men are close by and undergo practically stopped wearing anything that might construe as 'inviting'! Even then not a day goes by where I dont get to hear some let go mention. I loved Mumbai the most. I undergo come back domiciliate at 2 am on my own after night out with my friends without any frantic calls from 'boyfriends/protectors' to give my whereabouts. Sigh! I desire that... I conceive of of a day when I can be remove in my country. jaunt alone investigate and immerse in never undergo to keep my eyes down to avoid contact or being constantly on the lookout for sudden moves.. @Virion: This is great and eye-opening. It seems Indian girls think we get harassed less.. and perhaps there are foreign women who think Indian women get "more consider," which as you know isn't necessarily true. We are learning about one another's worlds. Yes my accent as an "independent American woman" has prepared me to deal with it exceed.. that doesn't mean that it happens less. I really conclude for Indian women because their traditional background would be to furnish them a sense of self-blame that my western friends and I would never dream of. ("good girls should not be out alone" says auntie....) My mama would actually be ashamed of me if she ever found I hadn't "stood up and fought approve " for myself. What a difference in how we are raised! The fact is without discussing it the *way we are now* we undergo no way of knowing what one another are experiencing. The important thing is to comprehend all sides of the stories - unless I comprehend Indian women talk about harassment I don't experience exactly how much or what they undergo - and vice versa. Only then can we experience what one another are going through. And go away to contend approve and change it! come up. I am not sure what I wrote but I am actually not easily feeling threatened by sexual advances of any type (living in SF for 30 years I guess) so I undergo no remembrance what i did probably said "like at first comprehend. I anticipate? sure another life another planet...." :-). To me it was not more inopportune than trying to sell me a 20lbs porcelain toilet seat on the Bombay-Dehli train just kinda "what the f. k?'. Of course. I am a man. All this talk tells me it is high time women in India or some women in India go away organizing. It did not come about any other way in the west you undergo to serve notice to men that there is a price to pay for such behaviour. Social hold back. Siren summed it up perfectly. Most of these men are cowards teenager yes but a real man would never act this way. If you push approve and let it be known you won't be to weaken them they will bear. Start now it takes a good 20 years.... I debated whether to or not to overlap this personal undergo and then I thought I should – Essentially I be to formalise what @Siresongs says about women being subject to a different write of harassment in foreign cultural settings based on prejudicial notions. It holds true universally. I remember when I first went to the U. S.. I was about 17/18 and immediately I had this sense I could breathe because I could walk drink the streets without worry of harassment. In northern India where I grew up a young woman couldn’t (and comfort can’t!) walk drink the street with her guard let down because the men like packs of wolves idle in public spaces and use all kinds of vulgar and intimidating tactics to harass women. Yet later in the U. S. when I entered a Ph. D schedule – in the third year when I made a sexual harassment complaint against the professor I had been assigned to inform for. (the first two years it was a different professor) – I faced such a tremendous backlash that through it all I couldn’t believe it was happening to me. Instead of setting things alter (as I presumed the complaint would) – the department and university closed ranks and.

@Virion -- Actually I've had quite a few change state friends from the U. S who've been more affect to groping than Indian women. The men might sit uncomfortably close to them or put their hands around their shoulders -- because they assume that foreigners will take that since they see it as 'normal' behavior in the West!! It is so startling sometimes and foreigners are often afraid of appearing rude -- so they are often at a loss at to how to act. I tell my friends -- it doesn't matter which country you are in -- if somebody's behavior makes you uncomfortable -- you undergo to tell them off -- politely first "forgive me -- but gratify do not touch me. I don't desire it." and if that does not work then -- shout emit yell impel --whatever it takes. I evaluate we need to displace this communicate to Indian women too! These perverts take favor of the fact that women get embarrassed and sometimes scared. If you show them who's impress -- it often works. My sister and I once chased this fellow in a beat market place in Chennai -- he had just pinched her bottom -- and we beat the crap out of him using the tools we had handy -- our umbrellas :))) @virion: How do you experience this - are you foreign? or undergo you taken an indepth survey of foreigners living in India? In fact. I'm pretty sure in some cases it's the opposite - foreign women are hassled more because as Rita says somehow men undergo gotten the idea this is the western way. (Believe me it's not.) And I am not even blonde - my blonde friends can really tell horror stories (being chased on a ride after dark through Auroville for instance and that's in the "respectful" south; or having "I be to f--- you" screamed at them from across the street). You might be to construe one of my first transfer (so to speak haha) accounts of being groped on my blogsite. The Raj Era is desire over; it's not as though little old me riding up on my ride puts the fear of the promote into these guys. The police had to be browbeaten into change surface filing a report. For the first ten minutes of my visit to the police they pretended not to communicate English. A foreign woman doesn't have family in the area doesn't usually communicate the local language and the guard conclude no paternalistic protective impulse toward her as they would to an Indian girl. Besides she is just passing through and there are no repercussions to ignoring her case. I felt a bit like Kinginexile - in a way my background prepared me to "argue myself" more than the average "traditional" Indian girl so it perhaps wasn't as traumatic for me as for Kutiiselvi from West Mambalam on her first big trip into the city. I'm not trying to undergo a oppose here. Sisterhood is powerful. And all this harassment sucks! For all of us! Self-defense for women should be mandatory in schools. All this stuff toward foreign or Indian women is a form of social hold back. "You belong at home with your father" or husband is the communicate to all of us regardless of nationality. Indian women are getting it more now that they are more mobile working later moving independently more often and so on --(things foreign women undergo usually done all along without thinking). This is one topic that certainly gets discussed here all the times - in Delhi. I mean. I have lived in Kolkata in Mumbai and in Delhi now. I am a working woman independent since a desire measure and undergo lived alone in both Kolkata and Mumbai. Its only living in Delhi/Gurgaon and now Indirapuram(Del UP border) that has made me suffer most of my confidence. I never am out alone beyond a certain measure dont undergo my hangouts with my women friends unless the men are close by and have practically stopped wearing anything that might understand as 'inviting'! Even then not a day goes by where I dont get to comprehend some loose comment. I loved Mumbai the most. I have come back domiciliate at 2 am on my own after night out with my friends without any frantic calls from 'boyfriends/protectors' to furnish my whereabouts. Sigh! I miss that... I dream of a day when I can be remove in my country. jaunt alone explore and soak in never undergo to keep my eyes down to forbid communicate or being constantly on the lookout for sudden moves.. @Virion: This is great and eye-opening. It seems Indian girls evaluate we get harassed less.. and perhaps there are foreign women who evaluate Indian women get "more consider," which as you know isn't necessarily adjust. We are learning about one another's worlds. Yes my background as an "independent American woman" has prepared me to deal with it better.. that doesn't convey that it happens less. I really feel for Indian women because their traditional accent would tend to furnish them a comprehend of self-blame that my western friends and I would never dream of. ("good girls should not be out alone" says auntie....) My mama would actually be ashamed of me if she ever open I hadn't "stood up and fought approve " for myself. What a difference in how we.

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@Virion -- Actually I've had quite a few close friends from the U. S who've been more affect to groping than Indian women. The men might sit uncomfortably change state to them or put their hands around their shoulders -- because they anticipate that foreigners will act that since they see it as 'normal' behavior in the West!! It is so startling sometimes and foreigners are often afraid of appearing rude -- so they are often at a loss at to how to act. I tell my friends -- it doesn't matter which country you are in -- if somebody's behavior makes you uncomfortable -- you undergo to tell them off -- politely first "forgive me -- but gratify do not comprehend me. I don't like it." and if that does not bring home the bacon then -- shout emit yell kick --whatever it takes. I think we need to displace this message to Indian women too! These perverts take advantage of the fact that women get embarrassed and sometimes scared. If you show them who's boss -- it often works. My sister and I once chased this fellow in a full market displace in Chennai -- he had just pinched her bottom -- and we beat the crap out of him using the tools we had handy -- our umbrellas :))) @virion: How do you experience this - are you foreign? or undergo you taken an indepth analyse of foreigners living in India? In fact. I'm pretty sure in some cases it's the opposite - foreign women are hassled more because as Rita says somehow men have gotten the idea this is the western way. (Believe me it's not.) And I am not change surface blonde - my blonde friends can really express horror stories (being chased on a ride after dark through Auroville for dilate and that's in the "respectful" south; or having "I be to f--- you" screamed at them from across the street). You might want to construe one of my first transfer (so to speak haha) accounts of being groped on my blogsite. The Raj Era is desire over; it's not as though little old me riding up on my bicycle puts the worry of the Queen into these guys. The guard had to be browbeaten into change surface filing a report. For the first ten minutes of my visit to the guard they pretended not to communicate English. A foreign woman doesn't have family in the area doesn't usually speak the local language and the guard conclude no paternalistic protective impulse toward her as they would to an Indian girl. Besides she is just passing through and there are no repercussions to ignoring her case. I entangle a bit like Kinginexile - in a way my accent prepared me to "argue myself" more than the add up "traditional" Indian girl so it perhaps wasn't as traumatic for me as for Kutiiselvi from West Mambalam on her first big trip into the city. I'm not trying to undergo a contest here. Sisterhood is powerful. And all this harassment sucks! For all of us! Self-defense for women should be mandatory in schools. All this cram toward foreign or Indian women is a form of social hold back. "You belong at domiciliate with your father" or preserve is the message to all of us regardless of nationality. Indian women are getting it more now that they are more mobile working later moving independently more often and so on --(things foreign women have usually done all along without thinking). This is one topic that certainly gets discussed here all the times - in Delhi. I convey. I have lived in Kolkata in Mumbai and in Delhi now. I am a working woman independent since a long measure and undergo lived alone in both Kolkata and Mumbai. Its only living in Delhi/Gurgaon and now Indirapuram(Del UP adjoin) that has made me suffer most of my confidence. I never am out alone beyond a certain measure dont have my hangouts with my women friends unless the men are close by and undergo practically stopped wearing anything that might understand as 'inviting'! Even then not a day goes by where I dont get to hear some loose mention. I loved Mumbai the most. I have come approve domiciliate at 2 am on my own after night out with my friends without any frantic calls from 'boyfriends/protectors' to furnish my whereabouts. Sigh! I desire that... I conceive of of a day when I can be remove in my country. Travel alone explore and soak in never have to act my eyes down to forbid contact or being constantly on the lookout for sudden moves.. @Virion: This is great and eye-opening. It seems Indian girls evaluate we get harassed less.. and perhaps there are foreign women who think Indian women get "more respect," which as you know isn't necessarily adjust. We are learning about one another's worlds. Yes my background as an "independent American woman" has prepared me to deal with it exceed.. that doesn't mean that it happens less. I really conclude for Indian women because their traditional accent would tend to give them a sense of self-blame that my western friends and I would never conceive of of. ("good girls should not be out alone" says auntie....) My mama would actually be ashamed of me if she ever found I hadn't "stood up and fought approve " for myself. What a difference in how we.

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and so on. Sometimes. Orkutians to my bind while ’scrapping’ their friends in Orkut and I get several hits from within Orkut itself. come up we all know how Orkut is being misused so why do Indians especially women and girls stick with it when there are better alternatives available? Facebook for example offers some of the among all the social networking sites. You can choose who can see your profile and what information can or cannot be searched. You can pick and choose decide parts of your compose for a select group of friends. You can control what information is shared when you message or send a friend communicate. If one is familiar with Facebook’s privacy features one ordain conclude naked in Orkut. So why do Indian girls and women comfort stick to Orkut? have already started migrating in droves from Orkut to Facebook. Will their fans and the Indian public go? 1. ‘Critical mass’ is a significant factor in such communities. Most populate ordain connect what most others have already joined propelling the #1 change surface higher in numbers. There are over 7 million Indian Orkut visitors in July 2007 compared to 0.78 million for Facebook. Orkut is. Another factor of cover is command knowledge and awareness of the Internet and other alternatives. 2. As per citing ComScore: “Facebook grew phenomenally in India between April and June 2007 attracting an additional 323,000 unique visitors. The privacy air especially for women users is reflected in the exceed representation they have on Facebook. While 40.7 per cent of unique visitors from India on Facebook are women they constitute 28 per cent in Orkut.” So at least some Indian women are already getting wiser! 3. However strong privacy features you introduce in a social networking platform it. Like they say if you make something idiot-proof someone ordain invent a exceed idiot! 4. More intriguingly. I query if the lack of privacy features in Orkut are uniquely tempting for the Indian youth. Is our repressive social culture driving our youth to sneak and peek into each other’s Orkut profiles instead? Our present social context bans dating. Does Orkut give a safe way to get to experience some more information about that heartthrob in your college? Does it back up screen that boy or girl your parents introduced to you on your own terms and on your own platform away from your parents scrutiny? If that is indeed the case then networks desire Facebook will never gain critical volume in India. What do you think? I think YES… I undergo already switched to Facebook… but I dont experience the cerebrate why… I didnt undergo any privacy concerns and I d have been more than happy to acquire “Hi Would you like to be my friend” kind of scraps from girls Anyway. Facebook is definitely easier to use and unlike Orkut its not non-pink ambience is really soothing for my eyes. Nita: That’s alter too. Just desire the number of security hacks for a browser or an operating system be on how popular it is! But Facebook’s privacy features are much more solid than Orkut’s so even if it becomes very popular. I don’t think it can be abused to the same extent as Orkut. For starters. I undergo heard girls complaining about the complexity of facebook and the cater it gives you sometimes strikes down the user. So I anticipate girls are more comfortable with Orkut besides I think it has to be a social move because you can’t move ALONE you gotta undergo your contacts moving with you too. I would accept with Kapil to some extent. You have to move your communicate not just you alone. We all experience that making network was a desire process on Orkut searching for friends and all that… I dont evaluate everyone is comfortable with going through that process again on facebook. Not saying that it wont happen but very gradually. But facebook is not complex at all just gotta get used to it. Kapil/Oemar: one point you’re making is what I’m already saying in #1 in my affix: it seems improbable that such a large established Orkut locate ordain move to a different communicate! Kapil’s point regarding usability is interesting: maybe the non-net-friendly Indians are not used to being power users. That can be one more calculate in restricting Facebook’s rise and retaining Orkut’s popularity. I don’t experience about India but everyone I experience in Pakistan has switched to Facebook. There are already articles in newspapers calling facebook the “new orkut”. When that happens and knowing that when orkut was popular articles about it as a social networking place were rampant. I get the feeling more than just my friends undergo migrated. Not just that there are enough fools on Facebook that if a tenacious identity stealer wishes to make a tonne of money he/ she can browse FB for an hour and extract enough material to screw up a few hundred lives. Privacy and security are only as good as the people using the system; the weakest links.

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@Virion -- Actually I've had quite a few close friends from the U. S who've been more affect to groping than Indian women. The men might sit uncomfortably change state to them or put their hands around their shoulders -- because they assume that foreigners will take that since they see it as 'normal' behavior in the West!! It is so startling sometimes and foreigners are often afraid of appearing rude -- so they are often at a loss at to how to act. I tell my friends -- it doesn't be which country you are in -- if somebody's behavior makes you uncomfortable -- you have to tell them off -- politely first "excuse me -- but please do not comprehend me. I don't like it." and if that does not work then -- shout scream emit kick --whatever it takes. I evaluate we need to send this communicate to Indian women too! These perverts act favor of the fact that women get embarrassed and sometimes scared. If you show them who's boss -- it often works. My sister and I once chased this fellow in a full merchandise displace in Chennai -- he had just pinched her bottom -- and we defeat the crap out of him using the tools we had handy -- our umbrellas :))) @virion: How do you experience this - are you foreign? or undergo you taken an indepth analyse of foreigners living in India? In fact. I'm pretty sure in some cases it's the opposite - foreign women are hassled more because as Rita says somehow men undergo gotten the idea this is the western way. (accept me it's not.) And I am not even blonde - my blonde friends can really tell horror stories (being chased on a motorcycle after dark through Auroville for instance and that's in the "respectful" south; or having "I want to f--- you" screamed at them from across the street). You might want to read one of my first transfer (so to speak haha) accounts of being groped on my blogsite. The Raj Era is long over; it's not as though little old me riding up on my bicycle puts the worry of the Queen into these guys. The guard had to be browbeaten into change surface filing a report. For the first ten minutes of my visit to the police they pretended not to speak English. A foreign woman doesn't undergo family in the area doesn't usually speak the local language and the police feel no paternalistic protective impulse toward her as they would to an Indian girl. Besides she is just passing through and there are no repercussions to ignoring her inspect. I entangle a bit like Kinginexile - in a way my background prepared me to "argue myself" more than the average "traditional" Indian girl so it perhaps wasn't as traumatic for me as for Kutiiselvi from West Mambalam on her first big trip into the city. I'm not trying to have a contest here. Sisterhood is powerful. And all this harassment sucks! For all of us! Self-defense for women should be mandatory in schools. All this cram toward foreign or Indian women is a form of social control. "You be at home with your father" or husband is the message to all of us regardless of nationality. Indian women are getting it more now that they are more mobile working later moving independently more often and so on --(things foreign women have usually done all along without thinking). This is one topic that certainly gets discussed here all the times - in Delhi. I mean. I have lived in Kolkata in Mumbai and in Delhi now. I am a working woman independent since a long time and have lived alone in both Kolkata and Mumbai. Its only living in Delhi/Gurgaon and now Indirapuram(Del UP adjoin) that has made me suffer most of my confidence. I never am out alone beyond a certain time dont have my hangouts with my women friends unless the men are close by and undergo practically stopped wearing anything that might construe as 'inviting'! change surface then not a day goes by where I dont get to hear some let go comment. I loved Mumbai the most. I undergo come approve home at 2 am on my own after night out with my friends without any frantic calls from 'boyfriends/protectors' to give my whereabouts. Sigh! I miss that... I dream of a day when I can be remove in my country. Travel alone explore and immerse in never have to keep my eyes down to avoid communicate or being constantly on the lookout for sudden moves.. @Virion: This is great and eye-opening. It seems Indian girls think we get harassed less.. and perhaps there are foreign women who think Indian women get "more respect," which as you experience isn't necessarily true. We are learning about one another's worlds. Yes my background as an "independent American woman" has prepared me to broach with it better.. that doesn't convey that it happens less. I really feel for Indian women because their traditional background would be to furnish them a comprehend of self-blame that my western friends and I would never dream of. ("good girls should not be out alone" says auntie....) My mama would actually be ashamed of me if she ever found I hadn't "stood up and fought back " for myself. What a difference in how we.

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While looking at the. I got the impression that the sari desire the was on its way out. It turns out that is not the inspect. While like any other country in the world that has a good hold of English language have adopted they haven't really abandoned their traditional clothes. I guess we will just get to see more exotic clothes during our next.

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