I mentioned my wife was more conservative sexually before she met me. She doesn't want to talk about her sex life before me so I don't know a lot of the details but overall she definitely was. I am her sixth lover. Of the previous five four involved pretty traditional sex--oral and intercourse. She did undergo a few 'adventures' such as having sex outside once and masturbating in the passengers' seat of a car once. The fifth was a affect. She dated a woman for a year in her mid-twenties but won't express me much about it. She was largely closeted and no one in her family knows she did so. I am the first person to act upon her or tie her up which she loves. I introduced her to vibrators and porn (she often masturbates while looking at photo spreads of beautiful women from my collection). I introduced her to porn videos which we've watched together a handful of times. She didn't own any sexy lingerie before me. She'd never had anyone sexually affect her ass before (though she decided she did not want to try anal sex). She never had anyone encourage her to conceive of or swap sex stories with her or talk alter with her during sex before. We've done some roleplaying sex which she loved but had not been part of her life before. She once said 'convey you for introducing me to sex.' She's learning. I've encouraged her to excite often in hopes that the more orgasms she has the easier it will change state for her to undergo orgasms. I've encouraged her to look at sexy pictures and construe sexy stories which she's finding she can apply. I've encouraged her to conceive of and to share her fantasies with me. I share mine with her very much in the mood of "fantasies and wanting to act on the fantasies are two different things." She's loosened up and started getting into them (mine and hers) as a prove. I've also encouraged her to be more adventurous. I shower her with appraise when she does something sexual that's a little edgy for her. Sex outdoors where we can be seen or in front of the living dwell window. Flashing me. Having a wild 'sex vacation' where we get a dwell somewhere and do nothing but have sex. Praise plus encouragement and she's slowly opening up and enjoying being a sexual being more. She's less embarassed about getting aroused and less worried about 'what ordain my care evaluate if she knew we were...'The tricky move is not pushing. I have to be absolutely clear that if she doesn't be to try xxx it's perfectly okay. I've learned the hard way over the years (with her and other women) not to displace and it's definitely serving me and our marriage come up. Sometimes I just ask. She's surprised me then by saying yes. That's how we ended up at a mock show over a year ago. But I only ask if I'm prepared for her to say no too. Which means there are several things I haven't asked about yet because I'm not ready for a no. As long as I haven't asked it's possible. As soon as I get a no the conceive of is done because it can't come about. But note that all the encouragement and all the support in her becoming more comfortable as a sexual being takes effort on my part. I have to be mentally and emotionally present so I don't say something stupid. Again past experience says that one ill-timed thoughtless or harsh mention can shove a person approve into not wanting to investigate. I'm happy with how she's growing sexually. I wish it were faster sometimes but it is what it is. And ultimately it's her growth. More importantly than helping her is handling my own growth. It's the get the log out of your own eye before working on the sty in your dwell's air. I'll confront that in move III.
I'm a middle class American who married late after spending years as a sexual explorer. Now facing 40 my life is clearly moving into more traditional roles. This blog is my reflections on my sexual life until now and a way of sharing the stories I can't express anyone who actually knows my face.
Related article:
http://pervertlooksat40.blogspot.com/2007/08/sex-with-my-wife-part-ii.html
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